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Page after page that I looked at contained information that clearly illustrated what I've already noticed- all over the world and in our own countries, children are routinely treated like property. They're exploited and abused and sold and hit and murdered and raped and starved… and their voices continue to go unheard.
Which is why I feel particularly incensed when I see people attacking children on here or on other blogs. When someone says that they hate children, I see a person attacking a group of people who are essentially helpless. A group of people who are already kicked and beaten by many of the societies they live in, with no real way of fighting back. Children can't help being children, and in a world that sends a very clear message that children don't count and don't matter, it's infuriating to see someone pile more hate on top of all that. .
Ultimately, bigotry is bigotry. I don't think it's acceptable to hate a group of people based on their race, sex, gender, sexual orientation… and I don't think it's acceptable to hate a group of people because they're children, either. Talking about children as "brats" or "crotch droppings" is absolutely the same as talking about women as "bitches" or homosexuals as "fags." We don't accept it if someone says "I hate women."
We don't accept that, and we shouldn't accept it when it's aimed at children, either.
Why I hate "I hate children…"
Article Source: Feministe- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
- Public Discussion (50)
I have to say that this guy hits the nail right on the head here. I actually used to be one of the kid haters in my younger days. However, with my dealings in feminism, or perhaps just growing older, I've seen a lot of mommy wars come and go, and have since tried to change that view completely.
I remember hearing a story on a discussion thread once about a woman waiting in line at the airport with her young son, and even though the son was being polite and even quiet, a man in the same line took one look and started on the tirade of "Oh great, a kid's on the flight, this is going to be hell", basically pre-judging this poor kid on the spot without any cause except the fact that he was a kid. I immediately thought of him as an @!$%# and stated so, but I cringed inwardly because I saw some of myself in that man and wasn't pleased about it. So I took steps to change it.
- 13 votes
#1 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:01 PM EDTGood article and good for you Stacy! I applaud your taking steps to correct that perception.
Its not a secret here or IRL that I am a HUGE advocate for chidlren,parents and the like. I find that children are often denied their opinions, or even their right to free thoughts as some parents try to "mold" their children into a paper-cutout-copy of themselves instead of inspiring their children to think for themselves, challenge their opinions, and help them to become the independent people we want them to be.
Great see Stacy! I am clipping to the Parents and Parenting group!
- 4 votes
Oh good, I wasn't sure if we had a parenting group on Newsvine yet or not. Thanks for clipping it.
- 1 vote
as some parents try to "mold" their children into a paper-cutout-copy of themselves instead of inspiring their children to think for themselves
The idea of my boy being a paper-cutout-copy of me is terrifying.
I don't really understand hating kids. If you don't want one, don't have one. That's about it.
And the author's right. They didn't choose to be kids, and appear to be ready to hurry through the whole childhood thing as quickly as possible.
I remember hearing a story on a discussion thread once about a woman waiting in line at the airport with her young son, and even though the son was being polite and even quiet, a man in the same line took one look and started on the tirade of "Oh great, a kid's on the flight, this is going to be hell", basically pre-judging this poor kid on the spot without any cause except the fact that he was a kid.
I think part of the problem is that we see SO many examples of bad parenting, or non-existant parenting, and that becomes a dislike of the object itself. When I see kids running around a restaurant or looking over the seat on a plane, yea, I don't like that kid; but the real problem is that kid's parents, who are happy (or oblivious) to let everyone else police their kids or deal with them, so long as they don't have to. Maybe we should be saying, I hate bad parents!
yes, BUT -- if I hear "What about the children?" or "do it for the kids" one more time, I might cut my reproductive organs off.
also, for better or for worse, children grow up and some children have children before they grow up.
- 12 votes
#3 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:13 PM EDTI might cut my reproductive organs off.
A bit drastic dont you think? If you dont want to have children, a small snip will do!
And if you dont like children or have something against those of us that do and cherish them, snip away.
- 2 votes
I hate robots. Also vampires. Is that wrong?
- 8 votes
#4 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:18 PM EDTI think "hate" in all its forms is a bit overused and abused.
- 4 votes
Is that wrong?
Yes. Robots are awesome.
To hell with vampires, though.
- 7 votes
Are you serious? Everyone knows that robots will eventually rise up and destroy us all. At least the various Van Helsings and Belmonts can keep the vampires in check.
- 6 votes
Just kidding ;) I love robots and vampires. I just want to identify if there are any (even fictional) groups left that it's ok to dislike. I imagine that 100 years from now hating robots might be a real political issue.
- 2 votes
Are you serious? Everyone knows that robots will eventually rise up and destroy us all. At least the various Van Helsings and Belmonts can keep the vampires in check.
Pfft. The Terminator will kick bad robot ass and Helsing ass in one swoop.
I just want to identify if there are any (even fictional) groups left that it's ok to dislike.
I have to admit, I'm a bit predjudiced against trolls under the bridge. I mean, what type of creature do you have to be to pick on poor little billy goats? I don't trust 'em.
And don't even get me started on the misogynist dragons. How come they never kidnap princes and take them back to their lairs, huh? Like ladies don't have better things to do other than be tied up outside of some cave looking all hot. Sheesh.
I imagine that 100 years from now hating robots might be a real political issue.
It's an interesting thought, that's for sure.
- 1 vote
Robots are awesome.
Thanks, Stacy. You're pretty awesome too. For a human.
- 6 votes
When someone says that they hate children, I see a person attacking a group of people who are essentially helpless.
I think this statement is a little ironic. I applaud the statement actually, but it is ironic to me because I would assume this group is pro-choice and it is for this reason alone that I am pro-life.
When I see someone who says, my rights and independence (and sometimes health) is more important than the life of an unborn child, they are "attacking" (wrong word I know) those that are not just essentially helpless, but completely helpless.
yes, BUT -- if I hear "What about the children?" or "do it for the kids" one more time, I might cut my reproductive organs off.
While dramatic in response, I completely agree with the "sentiment" behind the statement.
- 2 votes
#6 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 5:03 PM EDTYes, attacking would be the wrong word. I don't think most people get abortions because they feel they should stick it to those zygotes real good.
And the situations here are quite different. Not only is there a fairly large difference between a zygote and an actual child, it's kind of warped to say that abortion is an act borne out of hatred of children.
But perhaps you can take it up with the large number of mothers who love their children yet have had abortions in their lifetime.
- 3 votes
Not only is there a fairly large difference between a zygote and an actual child, it's kind of warped to say that abortion is an act borne out of hatred of children.
No, just a hatred of what that child is going to do to one's lifestyle/career/financial situation/etc...
But perhaps you can take it up with the large number of mothers who love their children yet have had abortions in their lifetime.
I have taken it up with them, believe it or not
(One, of many, being this example). I am not as judgmental and bigoted as I think you think I am.
Absolutely balderdash. We all know that pro-lifers only care about 'children' before they are born, and do nothing for them after they are born.
The fact that you brought in a complete non-sequiteur, is telling about your agenda.
- 1 vote
You can't argue about the well being of cute little babies and then cut social programs that help families and children. For Republican anti-choicers, this is exactly what they do. It makes no sense to focus on the unborn with the "children are the most important thing evah!" rhetoric and then abandon them when they are born because those toddlers didn't pick themselves up by the bootstraps and thus deserve to die in poverty. One would probably pick up that there's something more going on here than just babies.
And it seems, rather than focusing all their time and energy on setting up say, fake abortion clinics to trick women, or passing laws to appease the base and get votes even though they won't help save one child and instead endanger women, they could be doing something about, you know, the fact that the United States has one of the highest infant mortality rates out of any industrialized nation.
There's a disconnect there. Just sayin'.
- 6 votes
It makes no sense to focus on the unborn with the "children are the most important thing evah!" rhetoric and then abandon them when they are born because those toddlers didn't pick themselves up by the bootstraps and thus deserve to die in poverty. One would probably pick up that there's something more going on here than just babies.
Yes. The agenda is to punish fornicators for the dastardly deed.
you know, the fact that the United States has one of the highest infant mortality rates out of any industrialized nation.
// sarcasm alert
What? We don't have the best healthcare in the world? Who would have thunk?
- 2 votes
Ah, I see. Read you loud and clear. I agree with you actually, I tend to use "anti-choice" to describe the "unborn children pwn everyone" crowd because they don't seem to care about life at all, they just want to make sure women have no choices. And I know that there are pro-lifers that don't buy into that, and I don't want to lump them all together.
- 1 vote
I love kids as long as their parents don't treat them like they're adults with no boundries.
Some, not all, but some parents let their kids run around restaurants and stores like it's their own private playground. It appears that whatever jr wants, jr. gets and if he/she doesn't, look out!
I love kids. Kids need boundries, we all do.
- 2 votes
#7 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 6:27 PM EDTChildren do need boundaries and unfortunately, some children are not given or taught boundaries today. I do not hate children. In fact I like them. I do not like them screaming behind me in my restaurant as I am trying to have a nice meal...especially when the parents are ignoring them through their meal. I do not like them running through my grocery strores aisles unattended... yelling as I am trying to buy my food. I especially do not like them crying, talking and interrupting my movie that I paid a lot of money to see and hopefully enjoy. I did not allow my son to do this.
As a rule, I see American children being spoiled, indulgent, demanding, and completely unaware of the people around them that strikes me as not just unpleasant, but unhealty for both child, parent, and the world. I have traveled to several other countries and this is not the case other places. I am a teacher as well, and have been seeing this trend for sometime.
So I can see why people say "I hate children".
I don't think anyone "hates" children. In fact, I pretty much know this to be fact. Why? Because we were all children at one point in time? It's just an expression people use to illustrate that they no longer remember what it was like to be a child, there is really no harm in it. I say "I hate high school kids" every now and then, but it's only because I no longer understand that period of my life. When someone says they "hate" children, they are really saying this: "I grew up."
Chill.
- 1 vote
#8 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:05 PM EDTJust because we were all children once doesn't mean that people don't harbor bigotry towards children now. I've met people who loathed children. I've met women who were misogynists, too. The fact that you are part of or used to be part of a particular group doesn't mean that you're incapable of hating that very group.
The level of animosity, disrespect, and venom that I've seen some people direct at children is disgusting, sometimes.
There are people who don't like the things children do, and would prefer not to be around them.
And there are people who actively despise children.
I only have a problem with the second.
- 2 votes
Oh my goodness! Where did you hear "crotch droppings"? I've never even heard that term before... thats just gross! And good article STACY :-)
#9 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:15 PM EDTI don't hate them, but I don't particularly like children either.
They are useless and just take up space waste resources. They are of no benefit to the community besides growing up into something useful.
- 2 votes
#10 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:26 PM EDTI hate pop corn. I hate coffee. I hate children. Those are expressions that mean I don't want popcorn, coffee or a child. It doesn't mean that I want to destroy all popcorn, coffee or children. I'd say people of this mindset are being dishonest by trying to invent a problem that isn't there, but I'm not so sure that the author doesn't truly believe that anyone who would say such a thing is a child abuser. I really dislike people like that.
- 2 votes
#11 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 7:40 PM EDTI didn't read all the comments but my wife and I made sure we permanently didn't have kids (I got the "snip"). We just couldn't tolerate them or afford them. I have no idea how someone funds a child now-a-days
#12 - Tue Jun 12, 2007 9:52 PM EDTI don't hate children, but I dislike them in certain situations.
If I go to see 300, a very not kid friendly movie, I really don't want to hear a crying child. The noise of a crying child puts you on edge, it's what it's supposed to do, but I would like to concentrate on the movie, instead of being distracted. It's not all kids I dislike. I don't like being around toddlers because I have no clue how to handle them except with the "kid gloves". I don't really like infants because at the stage I'm at right now, I'm not ready to deal with them.
My niece who happens to be 12, I'm fine with. I can understand her, I can communicate with her. I'm sure this wil change in the coming years, but at this point I just don't like kids. It's not a sleight against the kids, I wish them no harm. It's a sleight against me, it's a detriment of mine.
- 1 vote
#13 - Wed Jun 13, 2007 3:36 AM EDTIt really isn't the child's fault though that they are present. Their parents should be responsible enough to either control them or realize that they shouldn't have them there in those situations.
I completely understand that they are not at fault. I've never blamed them for that. They're simply the catalyst for the whole situation.
Just an aside--movie theatres should have child care centers attached...
I've raised three children, all have turned out reasonably well.
There is a place for the I-hate-kids argument, unfortunately. Children are not little saints, they have wills and they test their limits at every opportunity. Yes, you can blame the parents, indulging their children in every sort of antisocial behavior, if it suits you. The fact remains, children will be children. They will do dangerous things, they will have tantrums, they will run around and annoy other people, and they must be disciplined. I spanked my children for two things, and two things only: for doing something dangerous, or striking anyone.
My children were socialized very early. I had a Gerry backpack, I carried my infants around constantly. I went into fancy restaurants with the child on my back: if the child made a peep, I would excuse myself to the lobby and deal with the situation. Often, children are brought into adult situations with no concept of how to behave, they must be brought into adult situations early, to learn appropriate behavior. I don't want to hear any of this nonsense about how being a child isn't easy and very little in their lives is under their own control. Small children do not want independence, they want parents to care for them and love them. Children will do whatever it takes to get the attention they need, and will continue pushing the limits until they find them, and get the feedback they need. Children rise to expectations: all this pernicious nonsense about Whims is crap, okay? Of course children must become individuals, but they must first be effectively socialized. Leaving a small child to find his own way in the world is a recapitulation of the story of Hansel and Gretel, lost in a dark wood, without guidance, creating ineffective maps with breadcrumbs. "Disempowered" my ass, there are nasty things in that dark wood, and a parent's guidance is absolutely essential for the formation of an effective human being.
- 7 votes
#14 - Wed Jun 13, 2007 10:16 AM EDTYep... hence why kid's aren't lobbying for freedoms and equal rights in Washington. Ha. That would be hilarious though.
You know, I do think that teenagers that will come of age during a presidential term should at least get a half vote or something in elections.
It just seems unfair that kids that turn 18 a month after the election can then be drafted to war by a president they never elected.
- 3 votes
I have my own theory on the Teenager, having raised three of them. The Jewish culture recognizes a man at the age of 13 with the bar mitzvah, girls at the age of 12. In our current modus vivendi, we have varying ages for maturity, and the years between physical maturity and "the legal age" have produced a psychological horror story. I would return to 30 in a heartbeat, but not for love or money would I return to 13.
In our home, I told my children "I will treat you as maturely as you act. Demonstrate responsible behavior, and you will be treated as an adult." I saw no reason to treat my children like babies after physical maturity, and they rose to the challenge, with occasional lapses of a trivial nature.
Can a teenager understand enough to vote? I don't see why not. Campaigning is a popularity contest, a concept well-understood by every kid in middle and high school. Do they see through the huckster-ism and chicanery? That's another question.
- 1 vote
It just seems unfair that kids that turn 18 a month after the election can then be drafted to war by a president they never elected.
You could apply the same logic to anyone you didn't vote for; I didn't vote for Bush, so can I stop paying taxes since it funds the war?
I think a better method of giving teenagers and the younger of the population a voice in government, although not without problems I haven't considered, is to find a way to see that the government isn't almost entirely comprised of old men and women. Can a 72-year-old president represent a 20/30-something demographic? If X percentage of the population is between 21-36, say, they should have X Congress men/women of the same age group to represent them and their needs, etc.
- 1 vote
You could apply the same logic to anyone you didn't vote for; I didn't vote for Bush, so can I stop paying taxes since it funds the war?
No, I don't see it as the same as all. You still got to vote your choice, it's just that you weren't in the majority. With these kids, they don't have a voice or a vote at all. And I feel that if you are at an age where government can directly affect you in a few years, through draft, taxation, whatever, I think you should have at least a partial voice in elections.
- 1 vote
Children don't get outraged by being "overlooked" in the system. Even if they are they don't remember to be outraged later. Kids grow up. Child poverty is a problem and the obscene people who do have something against kids (or rather just like to complain a lot) are a problem too... they are probably more like children themselves any how.
I don't hate kids that is for sure. I don't want to have one yet but I certainly love playing with kids all the time I can. I'll be an Uncle soon too, which is wicked, and that is something to be proud of. I can't wait to attempt to mold this child into a responsible adult. I'm hope that he loves me as much as I'm sure I'll love him.
- 1 vote
#16 - Wed Jun 13, 2007 12:08 PM EDTI remember being outraged that I had to pay full price at the movies but was limited to inane PG movies. I thought, and still think, that if I had to pay full price, I should have full options available.
So many comments have been made about my kid, "she's just a baby, she doesn't know better", in regard to personal space, and the way she is treated. I treat her like any other person. I don't invade her space. (things like touching her when she doesn't want to be touched which strangers LOVE to do to kids etc.)
- 2 votes
I forgot to add my favorite... Some person, I didn't know, insisting, vehemently that I should allow her to have a bite of her frozen yogurt from the same spoon that she was eating out of because "well it's healthy, and I don't have germs." Hello, I don't know you, and of course you have germs.
- 2 votes
I think he makes a good point - no one thinks there is anything wrong with saying, "I hate children." I have heard many people say it and then we all laugh.
Sad.
- 1 vote
#17 - Fri Jun 15, 2007 10:36 AM EDTYou're in Easy Mode. If you prefer, you can use XHTML Mode instead. |
